How to Host a Holiday Party - Without Getting Stressed Out

Written By: Taylor Rao

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Too bad it doesn’t always feel that way for someone who has to play host or hostess for holiday parties.

It’s definitely easier to be a party guest whose only responsibility is bringing wine, dessert and a Secret Santa gift instead of spending the pre-party weeks preparing. But odds are, you’ll end up hosting at least one event between November and January.

If you’re getting ready to welcome dozens of snow-clad feet into your home for a cozy evening spreading Christmas cheer, there are a few things you can do to ensure it’s a relatively painless process, rather than a stress-fest that leaves you miserable and exhausted.

Use Technology to Your Benefit

It’s not being lazy if it makes your life easier. When it comes to food and soft drinks, using online grocery delivery or curbside pickup, can take your stress level down almost immediately. When you’re pushing a cart around the store during the holiday season it can feel like chaos. It can also create doubt and cause overspending. Sure, you have a menu planned, but when you’re shopping you may see specials, sales and options, options, options. Food shopping for a party can be like shopping when you’re hungry times ten.

You’ll save yourself time, frustration and potentially money, by filling up your online cart and sticking to your list. If you really want to be fancy, you can order something special, like some of these cupcakes from Amazon, right to your doorstep minutes before your guests arrive.

There are other apps and services online that can make the party planning process easier. For example, you can send e-invites or create a Facebook Event instead of spending your time handwriting addresses and licking envelopes. Yes, mailed invitations are a lovely gesture, but seeing as it’s also Holiday card season and this is a holiday gathering not a wedding, you’ll be forgiven for going digital. Also, there are some advantages of using event pages and e-invites like, real time updates (for example, advice on where to park), RSVP reminders, easy click-to-map directions and public guest lists.

For some of your friends, particularly the more introverted types, their attendance may hinge on knowing and feeling comfortable with at least a few other attendees. The guest list features in digital invites make it clear who’s invited, who’s going and who is on the fence, that transparency saves everyone from the awkwardness of “Are you going to Jane’s party?…Oh, you weren’t invited? … My bad.”

For the actual event, you can subscribe to some holiday-themed playlists on Spotify or Amazon Music rather than strain yourself trying to put together the perfect music mix. Basically, get creative and use digital apps, websites and services in every way you can to alleviate a lot of the stress that comes with party prep.

 Invite the right group of people

There’s no party without people, right? But you can’t invite everyone from your work colleagues to your cousin’s new boyfriend, unless you’re renting a hall or you have some sort of mansion. So before you send out any group texts or e-invites, take some time to think about the kind of party you want to have. How much space do you realistically have for everyone to be comfortable? Are you planning activities like games or a gift exchange? Are you looking for an event where people from different parts of your life can meet and mingle? Or do you want a night for an existing friend group to reconnect and bond? Are you planning a chill night that ends before midnight or an all-night rager with dancing until sunrise? Once you’ve made those choices, write out a guest list that feels appropriate for that type of event.

When you’re the host, you get to call the shots and no one can bully you into giving out extra invites at the last minute if it’s going to make you uncomfortable in your own home. Have a number in mind for how many people you’re cool with entertaining, give or take a few either way. Not only will this make you feel a little more zen once party time rolls around, it’ll be easier for food, drink and space prep that needs to be done in advance with an accurate headcount in mind.

 The holidays are notorious for creating situations where there is a lot of pressure for everyone to have an amazing time and for every party to be “epic”. The best way to achieve the kind of holiday party that becomes legendary is to know what you want, invite the right group of people for that mood, and then relax. When the host is stressed and uptight, no matter how many Swedish meatballs you make, no one has a good time.

 Take your prep time seriously

Having a ton of errands to run at the last minute is the best way to make your stress levels skyrocket. So being a prepared party planner ranks high on the list of the best way to host a party without stress. If you’re cooking, plan a few menu items that can be made in advance and frozen. With pre-prepped foods like meatballs, cookie batter, lasagna, etc. on the day of the party you’re simply defrosting, reheating and serving.

Do yourself a favor and create a detailed to-do list a few weeks before the party, once you get a head count, search for recipes that can be prepared prior to the big day. Also consider recipes that include healthy options for diverse dietary needs (vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free etc.) Then, spend the next couple of Sundays in the kitchen so your day-of activities can leave you focused on decor, setup and having fun.

The same rules apply for planning out something to wear. What’s the dress code for your holiday party? Are people coming dressed up or adhering to some sort of theme? Whatever the case may be, you might have the need (or the urge, #treatyoself) to get something new. If you decide to order your ensemble online, remember that the seasonal increase in online sales may result in delays or depleted inventory. Additionally, unexpected winter storms can also slow down package deliveries, so make sure you’re doing any online shopping for clothes, party favors or decorations well in advance so that you won’t fall victim to an unexpected shipping delay.

 Keep it simple

This is a holiday party not the Met Gala and, unless you’re a Kardashian, your guests probably aren’t expecting an extravaganza. So it’s OK to keep it simple when it comes to what you offer at the party and what people will do when they get there. An enjoyable party requires: good people (we covered that above), plenty of food and beverages, and some music. If you focus on those three things alone, you can almost guarantee your gathering will be a success.

As host, you might feel pressured to cater to every single person’s specific needs and preferences. But with that mindset, you’ll find yourself at the liquor store with seven different types of wine and enough liqueur and mixers to open a small pub.

Listen, you can do a little bit of that but don’t go crazy on the special requests or trying to anticipate exactly what each of your guests will want. Consider sending out a group message or email saying something like, “There will be beer, red and white wine and a cranberry vodka punch. If you’d prefer something else or would like to bring your own drink of choice, please feel free!”.

If you’re committed to the idea of using drinks to elevate the evening, consider making a few specialty holiday cocktails that will raise everyone’s spirits and show off your mixology prowess. They won’t be for everyone, but that’s what the wine and beer are for.

Themes can be fun, i.e ugly sweaters, old-fashioned Christmas, winter wonderland, but too many rules or themes create restrictions that will only cause you and your guest stress in trying to meet them. Trying to have the “perfect” holiday party is a sure-fire way to raise your blood pressure and lower the fun factor.

 Don’t be afraid to ask for help

 If it’s the first time you’re hosting an event at your house, it’s common to feel like you’re A-OK being a one woman or one man show and preparing, cooking, shopping, decorating and entertaining all by yourself. But here’s the thing: a good percentage of your guests will probably ask you multiple times in advance if there’s anything they can bring or do to help out.

You might say “no” to most of it, but if there’s something that isn’t necessarily your strong suit --like mixing the party punch or baking desserts --don’t be afraid to offload a task or two to somebody else. You can also recruit someone as your dedicated co-host. If you’re offering up your home as the party space, someone else may be willing to step in and share some of the expenses of supplies. Even you’re running the show solo, you may be able to designate a few party guests to divide and conquer some of the day of or mid-party responsibilities. With a few helping hands, you can actually find the time to enjoy yourself.

Hosting a party is inherently stressful, there’s cleaning, shopping, inviting, decorating, managing questions and coming up with ideas to make your party distinctly “you”. But the people who are coming simply want to spend time with you and your other guests to celebrate the season. So just try to remember that the only thing you need for a great party is a relaxed atmosphere where everyone can be comfortable to be themselves, including you.