It’s Ok to Say I’m Not Feeling Well Today: 5 Tips for Taking a Mental Health Day
Written by: Melissa Fiorenza
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We all get a little overwhelmed sometimes but with obligations and to-do lists, we often just “power through” willing ourselves to make it to the end of the day. But sometimes it’s alright to admit that you’re just not feeling OK today and to take some personal time to get in a better headspace.
Just this year, Illinois schools made headlines for allowing students to take up to 5 excused mental health days. Companies like Bumble, Fidelity Investments, and Hootsuite announced relief days and time-off weeks for all employees. Colleges are offering more mental health services than ever.
Finally, mental health days are getting the attention they deserve. But are you really taking them? And if you are, are you doing it… the right way?
We talked to the experts about mental health days and found these tips to be exceptionally helpful.
1. How to ask for a mental health day
Asking your boss for a mental health day shouldn’t be any different from asking them for a few days off to recover from strep throat or to visit with family. That being said, the stigma related to mental health care is real, says Heather Z. Lyons, PhD, psychologist in Towson, Maryland, and owner of the Baltimore Therapy Group.
Her advice: “Take your environment and those around you into consideration before revealing the cause of your day off. For example, consider your office culture for wellness. Do people in higher-up positions talk openly about taking mental health days? Are people who take mental health days penalized in any way? Does your office give days specifically for wellness?”
When asking, she says, err on the side of general rather than specific disclosures. “Just as you wouldn't get specific about the need to take off for a private physical health condition, it's probably more professional not to get into specifics about private mental health conditions.”
However, she adds, if your mental health is getting in the way of performing job tasks, it might be helpful to broach the topic with a superior. “First perhaps ask to consult, confidentially, with someone in HR for guidance on how to have the conversation in a way that ensures you're protected. And on your end, make sure that you're engaged in treatment that is helping you ameliorate any distress you're experiencing.”
2. Consider the two types of mental health days
Brianna Kriley, LMHC, NCC, owner and counselor of Wellness Rooted Counseling, says there are two primary types of mental health days: planned days and spontaneous days.
“Planned mental health days are the days we set aside in the future to take care of ourselves regardless of how we are feeling,” she says. “Look at your upcoming schedule. Which week is going to be challenging? What day can you easily distance yourself from your typical responsibilities without added stress? Set aside time to put yourself first.”
Spontaneous mental health days are the days we must take to maintain wellness or rebuild wellness, she explains. “Spontaneous mental health days are when we call in sick because we need the day to feel better. Take those ‘sick’ days whenever you need to.”
3. How to know when you’re due for a mental health day
Whether you end up planning ahead or taking a spontaneous mental health day, it helps to know when you could honestly use one. Amelia Alvin, a practicing psychiatrist at the Mango Clinic, shared these signs to look out for. “If you observe any of this, it’s time to put your brain at rest,” she says.
You feel down. “You will be emotionally and physically exhausted all the time. Loss of focus is also a vital sign.”
Frustration all around. “You will be easily irritable or maybe not interacting with others properly. This means your brain is overburdened and needs a break.”
Your brain is hardly operating. “You will feel like closing your eyes and sitting alone doing nothing. You get tired mentally without even starting the day. Petty tasks seem challenging.”
You feel disconnected. “Many people hibernate or tend to get antisocial when their mind is tired.”
4. What to do on your mental health day
We love this tip from Dr. Nicole (Nikki) Lacherza-Drew, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist in NJ and owner of Vici Psychological Care, LLC:
“There is no wrong way to have a mental health day except not to take one.”
When she’s feeling burnt out, she says, “I plan out when it will happen and then decide if it’s going to be, what I call, a ‘lazy day,’ meaning hanging around the house in pajamas, watching some TV, and order takeout; or if it’s will be a ‘productive’ relaxing day where my husband and I plan to do something such as go for a drive, go to a local event, or go kayaking.”
Other ideas we heard:
Catch up on sleep
Attend to your doctor’s appointments (which would take some planning ahead)
Go on a long road trip
Unplug from social media
Take a walk in nature
Connect with an old friend
Enjoy one of your hobbies
Hit the spa
In the end, it’s about what you need. “If you want to stay in and just hang out at home, do it,” says Dr. Lacherza-Drew. “ If you want to go out with friends for food or another event, do it.”
5. What to remember on your mental health day
We can max out our vacation days and then some, plan the greatest of plans, and even build some incredible memories. But it’s so important to go back to that “mental” part.
That’s why this advice really spoke to us.
From Julie Potiker, certified Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) instructor and author of “Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm in the Midst of Chaos”: “The truth is that one day isn’t going to make it all better; what will help is loving yourself because you are suffering, and doing little nice things for yourself because you are worth it. Also, remember that all things change, the good and the bad, so try to hang on and leave a little wedge of room for hope.”
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