What Does It Mean To Live In The Moment - And How To Start Doing It
There are several commonly known expressions encouraging us to make the most of each moment. Carpe diem, Live for the now, You only live once, YOLO... (Yes, I did. Do you have secondhand embarrassment for me?) But what do these inspirational epigrams really mean?
Living in the moment means seizing life’s opportunities as they’re presented to us here and now. It’s not uncommon to be so caught up in the logistics of our daily grind that we neglect to soak in our experiences and make them count. Here are some things you can start doing now in an effort to be more mindful and present in the moment.
DITCH THAT “SOMEDAY” MINDSET
Have you noticed yourself proclaiming the things you’d love to do, the adventures you’d like to take, the goals you hope to achieve, then casually retreating by adding the qualifier “someday.”
Thinking in terms of “someday” in itself reduces the likelihood of those dreams ever truly materializing.
Too often, we default to projecting the experiences we truly desire into the indefinite future in hopes that we’ll eventually be in a better position to make them happen. We think when we have more money, less stress, or a smaller pants size the experience will be better. We think if we wait for all the stars to align or for all the laundry to be finished at once (never happening) our goals will be more achievable.
By casting our dreams so far into the future that we can’t assign them a real timeline, and then continually adding new criteria to meet before we can work towards them, we’re not taking accountability for our own role in making sure they happen. Consequently, maybe they never will.
“And then there is the most dangerous risk of all — the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.”
You don’t have to wait for retirement to try your hand at gardening, start now! Maybe right now you can’t spend a whole day leisurely tending plants, but you can start with one. If a whole garden is too much to care for try a few daisies or a potted impatien. Even starting a kitchen herb garden or just getting a new house plant can make you feel like you’re nourishing that part of yourself.
In small steps, over time you can cultivate a blooming oasis and that you can continue to enjoy once you do eventually hang up your hat. Bonus: You’ve now discovered a hobby you love and given yourself more years to explore it! (Or discovered your unfortunate black thumb early with plenty of time to re-evaluate. Either way, it’s a win!)
Of course, you may have some loftier goals that require more preparation, but you can start laying the groundwork today. If your dream of a tropical getaway seems out of reach, pick a date, even if it’s several years out, and start planning now. Do some research, create a budget, determine how much you need to put away to hit that figure, and set up a regular transfer to start building your fund. Each of these actions can be taken one at a time over the course of days or weeks. And although your end goal won’t be fully realized in this moment, you can use this moment to take those small steps to make sure the things you hope to do “someday” aren’t reduced to mere pipe dreams.
RESERVE YOUR ENERGY FOR WHAT FEEDS YOUR SOUL, AND DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR IT.
When you’re truly living in the moment a good portion of your days should consist of activities you enjoy, and if you’re lucky one of those activities may be your work. Many of us spend more time at our jobs than we do almost anywhere else, so if you’re clocking 40 hours a week doing something that makes you miserable, it might be worth considering if the benefits of your career are worth sacrificing your quality of life. Your time matters, your enjoyment of your time matters, and it matters right now.
None of us exist solely to serve and fulfill responsibilities, yet many of us find ourselves over-scheduled and overwhelmed, powering through our days without truly owning them. It’s common, it’s accepted, and we’ve been conditioned to wear our busyness like a badge of honor. So, when we do manage to carve out some essential time for ourselves, we should be selective in choosing how to fill those valuable hours.
This self-inflicted busyness can result in physical and emotional exhaustion, leaving us depleted and starving for REST. Sometimes living in the moment means honoring your body and soul by listening to it, by accessing and acknowledging your immediate needs and serving them, in this moment. And sometimes what you need most is a break. It’s okay to take some time, be it an hour or a whole day, to abandon all productivity and nurture your mental health.
When you’re feeling energized and well, in your consideration of how to spend your time, I’m a big advocate of the following advice:
“Stop saying yes to things you hate.”
(The original verbiage is slightly more profane, but the same sentiment applies.) This is a motto I implore everyone to adopt.
How many times have you begrudgingly rsvp’d to an event and then spent a week dreading its arrival? After factoring in 7 days of trepidation, and then actually enduring the event itself, in essence, you’ve now suffered twice. Give yourself permission to forgo half-heartedly attending the umpteenth toddler birthday party you’ve been invited to this year. Instead, send a thoughtful gift or card with happy birthday wishes, and don’t apologize for your absence. Use the time you’ve freed up to do something that makes your heart sing. The people you love will still feel cared for, and honestly, who really wants a guest showing up out of obligation.
Speaking of obligations...
DON’T PASS UP REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCES FOR SELF-IMPOSED OBLIGATIONS
I once extended my best friend an invite to join me for lunch, to which she politely declined, and mitigated with, “I can’t. I have to clean.”
My first thoughts were a quip to myself, “You have to? Who’s making you?”
Now admittedly, she may just have preferred not to go, totally fine — in which case I’ll defer back to my thoughts about reserving our energy for the things we really, actually want to do.
But in my mind, unless she had company coming (she didn’t) or unless her true heart’s desire was to line up those pantry items like little soldiers (who knows, maybe it was), the cleaning could have been saved for another day; a rainy day, a boring day, any day that didn’t mean passing up real opportunities to have real experiences with real people you care about. The chores will always be there, these opportunities might not.
If checking tasks off your to-do list is what will feed your soul above all else, I reiterate, by all means, clean on. Live in that moment.
But don’t let chores occupy a permanent placement at the top of your priority list. Yes, we all like clean spaces, of course, our surroundings affect how we feel, and there’s nothing wrong with catering to an innate need for order, but within reason.
Because let’s be honest, chores stay “done” for a duration of a few hours to a few days, and then they need to be done again. The exact same chores. You’re not going to reflect on your life and revel in a sense of accomplishment over how clean you kept your house all those years. But you just might look back and think, “I wish I had put more stake in my happiness.”
So, hold your sleeping babies while they nap instead of laying them down to fold laundry, accept the lunch invite instead of organizing your pantry, take that chance to dance in the rain; you can clean up the mess later.
The idea of living in the moment usually means something different to a college student than it does to a mother of four. But the basic principles are often the same. It means not putting off something you want to do, while sometimes putting off the things you don’t love to do when a more fulfilling opportunity arises. It also means assessing your needs and emotions and choosing to do something restorative, instead of putting your head down and bearing through your obligations. To live in the moment, you only need to prioritize the things that will enrich you and start doing it right…now.
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